chen chen / moonlight (2016) / fiona apple / stand by me (1986) / clementine von radics / shoplifters (2018) / marina / the florida project (2017) / tracy chapman
I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am my mother crying in the bathroom. I cross my legs and smile at my doctor. He doesn’t smile back. He asks why I took all those pills. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am nothing but the sound of birds rustling in autumn leaves. I am not my father. Anything but my father. He is the crunch of autumn leaves. The garbage disposal. My mother is the woman drowning in the bathtub and I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. I am her shrieks. I wear pink blush and smile at my doctor. I took those pills because I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. My mother is drowning. My father is destructing and I can’t stop dripping. Can’t you see, my mothers shrieks is my grief. My mother stands outside the hospital room crying. I’m wearing a hospital gown and I watch my father scrunch up his fists. I am not my fathers anger. But I understand it. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping. In the same bathroom my mother cries in. In the same bathroom I tried to die in. I am the bathroom tap that never stops dripping.
so my family is mormon right and they’re very devouT in their beliefs and follow most rules n regulations to the letter—which means no caffeine (including caffeinated soda like mountain dew), no alcohol, no tattoos, no fun
and anyways so we’re at dinner with a bunch of my extended family (also mormon) and this one server (who turns out to be the owner of the whole restaurant) starts being very friendly to our table. like. veeeeery friendly.
and then he says he’s gonna bring us a gelato spread off the menu (that we did nOt order) becuase he “likes us so much”
so he brings the gelato and we start eating it. and then i realize something weird and i immediately hop on my phone and text my big brother who’s sitting diagonally across the table from me (he’s a huge stoner and a fellow disappointment™ in the eyes of our parents)
and i watch andrew take a bite and as soon as he does he’s all
becuase the taste of it is literally so strong
and there’s like an absolute fucK ton of it at our table ok like this man really brought us a whole fucking gallon of this coconut chocolate meringue thing that tastes like it’s been absolutely douSed in alcohol
but it seemed like no one was really noticing (somehow), so it was fine. we were FINE
and THEN
my mother hands her plate to me (im sitting right in front of this liquor-drenched chocolate meringue thingy) and says “hey will you get me some more of that?”
and my mom is like,,, yes, she’s an oblivious mormon who’s never tried alcohol before, but she’s also a really great chef with a fairly good sense of smell and taste so you already knoW that if she didn’t notice the first time, she’s sure as hell gonna notice the second time. needless to say, i’m spooning that shit onto her plate like 0_o because FUCK
and inevitably, that’s where shit hits the fan (aka my mom figures it out)—at the same exact time my big brother decides he’s gonna go to the bathroom
i dont really know what the moral of this story is supposed to be but this encounter has taken yeaRs off my life and i just thot you all should know
